Baby Mine
by JustASmallTownGirl123
Summary: "I didn't know who else to call, Elliot." Her voice cracked a little and he could hear the utter defeat and exhaustion in her voice. "I'll be right over." *Set after Spring Awakening when Olivia HOPEFULLY adopts Baby Boy Doe*


Baby Mine

Elliot jolted up from the couch gasping for air and looked around frantically for whatever had woke him from his sleep. He squinted around his dark living room as his eyes adjusted to the lack of light. His cell phone was lighting up and vibrating around on the end table behind his head. He reached behind him and grappled around for the object until he finally had it in his hand and quickly hit the blinking green button on the screen.

"Hello?" He asked gruffly, his eyes drifted over to the clock on the wall and he wondered who could be calling this late at night. He should've checked the caller ID.

"Elliot?"

He really should've checked the caller ID.

"Olivia." It wasn't a question, he knew that voice like he knew the sky was blue.

"God, I am really glad you picked up." Her voice was strained and tired and he thought he could hear an infant wailing in the background.

"What's going on, Liv?" The nickname slipped off his tongue with ease.

"Well he won't stop crying and I don't know what to do. I've been trying everything I can think of for hours and I called the doctor but nothing-" She broke off for a second and the crying became louder. "Shh...Shh it's okay."

"I didn't know who else to call, Elliot." Her voice cracked a little and he could hear the utter defeat and exhaustion in her voice.

"I'll be right over." He left the couch, phone still on his ear and headed back to his bedroom to get dressed.

"Thank you, El." She sighed with relief.

"Okay, see you in a few-"

"Wait!"

"What?" He asked startled, bringing the phone back up to his ear.

"I moved, I need to give you the address." She explained, shushing the screaming child again. "Do you have something to write with?"

"Yeah, go ahead." He grabbed a crumpled up receipt from the floor and scribbled down the address with a pen. "Yeah, I got it. I'll be over in a few."

They said goodbye and he finished getting dressed, grabbed his keys and headed out the door. Her new place was still in Manhattan but it was pretty far away from her old one. It didn't surprise him though. After what happened he couldn't imagine her even wanting to look sideways at that place again.

He'd followed her ordeal from the second he saw it on the news. At first they didn't give her name out, but after being off the squad for two years he couldn't think of another female detective on the Manhattan SVU that wasn't her. Every time after that when they mentioned the case, the trial, that monster's name coupled with hers, he wanted to run to her and run even further away from her.

His whole body screamed at him to go to her. To comfort her and kill the bastard that had done this to her. But he knew he couldn't. He couldn't look her in the eye and try to make things better knowing he'd played a part in what had happened to her. He felt responsible. For killing Jenna and leaving her without a proper goodbye. For not having her back, for not making sure her new partner had her back.

Elliot pulled into the parking lot beside her building and checked the receipt in his hand one more time before walking up to the front door and hitting the buzzer for her apartment.

"Liv, it's me."

She buzzed him in and he walked into the lobby, forgoing the elevator for the stairs. She was only on the second floor so it didn't take him long to reach her apartment. It wasn't hard to find her, because the further he walked down the hall the louder the crying became.

He knocked on the door a few times, hoping he was loud enough to be heard over the screaming child.

"Coming." She called and suddenly it hit him.

He was nervous as hell. It had been three years since he had last seen her. He had learned to live without her presence and now he didn't know if he knew how to live _with_ it anymore. This could be a disaster , he could-

Then the door opened and there she was. The exhaustion he had heard in her voice had seeped into her features. There were dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep and her normally silky hair was now frizzy and pulled back into a clip. But those beautiful brown eyes, despite the rest of her appearance, shined. He remembered the ghosts that used to linger in them and they were gone.

"Hey." She greeted, bringing him back to the present, the cries filling his ears once again. "Thank you for coming."

"Yeah, no problem." He replied following her inside.

"So, I did everything I knew and then I called a pediatrician and tried what they suggested, in case he was sick, but that didn't work and-"

He laid a hand on her shoulder as they entered the living room and approached the pack-in-play containing the wailing infant. "Just slow down a minute, okay?"

She let out a sigh and nodded, "Okay."

"Can I-?" He asked, gesturing to the baby.

"Oh yeah, of course."

Elliot bent down and scooped the unhappy child up, holding him securely in one arm, almost, but not completely against his chest so he could look over him. "Nine, ten months?"

"Ten." She replied, taking a step closer and running a hand over the child's dark hair.

"What have you tried so far?" He asked, rocking from side to side a little bit out of habit.

"I changed him. I tried to feed him but he wanted nothing to do with it." She sighed dejectedly. "When I talked to the pediatrician she told me to take his temperature and if he had a fever I should give him infant Tylenol, but he didn't have one."

"You tried walking around with him?"

She nodded, "Mhmm. A couple of times and it would work and I would think he was asleep but as soon as I stopped he started crying again."

"Hmm." Elliot wracked his brain trying to think of anything else that had worked with his children.

"I'm so bad at this." She whispered, sitting on the edge of the coffee table, resting her head in her hands.

"Liv, no you aren't this happens to-"

"Everyone?" She interrupted, looking up at him, moisture pooling in her eyes. "Does it happen once a week for three weeks in a row?"

_No wonder she looks so exhausted, _he thought.

"I'm a horrible mother, they never should have let me have him." She said, resting her head in her hands again.

"He's-?"

"Adopted." She finished again. "He was involved in a case from a few months ago and after bouncing around four different foster homes I finally convinced Children Services to let me take him. After a month and a half I finally got the go ahead to start the adoption process. And they didn't turn me down this time."

_They didn't see me as prime parent material.  
_  
He knew they were both thinking about that day six years ago, that case. He also knew she was probably thinking those people were right, that she wasn't prime parent material. It was written all over her face and her whole body screamed defeat.

"Come on, I have an idea." He reached out the hand that wasn't holding her crying son and she reluctantly took it and he pulled her up. "Where's your bathroom?"

"This way." She led him out of the living room and down the hall that held the bedrooms and a bathroom.

"Go ahead and get him undressed." He handed him to her and turned to the shower, turning on the water and adjusting it until it was the right temperature.

When Elliot looked back she had him down to his onesie, so he took off everything but his boxers.

Once she had him free of his clothing she picked him up and as she went to hand him back to Elliot, he saw her eyes grow a little wide and her face flushed red. "Um, what are you-?"

"Just trust me." He interrupted, carefully taking the baby from her, whose cries had grown louder from being exposed to the cold air. "Alright little man, let's see if this works."

Elliot stepped into the shower, rested her son against one shoulder and slowly moved them under the gentle spray of water. He made sure to keep the baby's face dry and rocked gently from side to side. Olivia was leaning against the wall just beside the shower and she would occasionally run her hand down his little head and back.

"What's his name?" He asked after a few minutes, the water beginning to soothe his cries.

"Elliot."

"What?"

She laughed lightly, "No, that's his name."

"Oh." He breathed, looking over at her to find her eyes already trained on his.

"I couldn't think of a better name. A better person to name him after." She explained.

"But I-why would you-"

"You left and it hurt like hell, but that didn't change anything, change us. At least not for me." She broke his gaze, running her hand over little Elliot's back whose cries had almost ceased completely.

"I'm sorry." He whispered and she looked back up at him, her eyes were still shining, still bright and after everything she had been through he didn't know how. "I shouldn't have left, I should've been there."

She moved her hand up from her son's back to his cheek and caressed his face softly, her thumb moving back and forth against his skin. "You're here now."

He stared into her eyes, searching for a yes, searching for a no, but he got his answer as she started leaning in towards him.

"You'll get wet." He warned.

She laughed and stepped into the shower with them. "I don't care."

He let out a small chuckle and wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her close and finally closing the distance between their lips. Her lips were soft and pliant, and tasted faintly of strawberry lip balm. She was perfect.

This whole moment was perfect and he couldn't believe that he'd thought he'd forgotten how to live with her. As they pulled apart and she leaned against his empty shoulder, resting a hand on her son's back, he promised himself that he would never learn to live without her again.

"I love you." He whispered quietly, kissing her damp hair.

"Love you too, El." She whispered back. "Always will."


End file.
